dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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