grandma shit on top of the toilet
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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