How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
