she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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