Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
