She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
