if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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