Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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