The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
