Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
