Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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