i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
