I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
