you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
