the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize