I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
