I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
