You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
