It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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