Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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