What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
