you win again, gameday.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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