Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
