I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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