Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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