I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
