i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
