you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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