Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
