Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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