We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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