Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
