She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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