I bet he comes in French.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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