I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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