Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
There's even glitter on my cock...
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