you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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