she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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