Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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