yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
