So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
