Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So much Jack, so little girl.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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