is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
