im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
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