We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You just made me feel so damn special
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
