need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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