If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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