How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
