I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you inspire me to be a worse person
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
