So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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