DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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