Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
