It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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